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The Dos and Don'ts to Your Successful
Relationship
No one ever said relationships were easy work
and if they did they didn't know much about having a long lasting one. There
are numerous things you have to deal with, including the lifestyle choices
you and your partner will make. No relationship ever truly works out to be
50/50, but you do have to find a way to maintain a mutually agreed split
to ensure that both parties have everything they need to be satisfied -
otherwise it is never going to work.
This is not to say that you will have a relationship
which will give you everything you want! That is an impossible state to reach,
and, most assuredly, a fantasy. All relationships contain a certain amount
of sacrifice, otherwise one person would completely give and one take - and
that's not a mutually suitable playing ground for most relationships.
If you want to make your relationship successful
there are many things you can do to make it that way... Likewise, there are
many things you should avoid. Here you will find some good hints to help
your relationship become - and remain - successful.
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Things you should avoid
Never lie to your partner. It doesn't matter
if you are trying not to hurt his feelings or you just think he doesn't need
to know. This is only going to cause problems. You cannot build a relationship
that is based on dishonesty, so you should start out on a completely honest
level - even on small dates, as you'll never know where that date may lead!
If you start out a date by telling someone you
have plenty to offer, such as a brand new car, are very well endowed, and
have plenty of money - and then the date turns out great (and could lead
to more and more dates) how is your new partner ever going to trust you when
he finds out you drove a rented car, you work at Taco Bell, and you were
wearing a sock in your pants? Even if he decides to forgive you for lying
to him it will always be in the back of his mind that if you lied once
you could do it again.
Tell the man you are dating what you want from
the start - and if he cannot give that to you then there is no point in wasting
your time, or his time in seeking a relationship with you. If you want an
open relationship, and he wants monogamy, one of you will be forced to
compromise. Likewise, if one of you wants children and the other is against
having children, you will have to consider this carefully. Truth in a
relationship - or lack of - are two things that can either break a relationship
in two, or make it stronger. Lack of communication concerning your needs
is one of the quickest ways to lose a partner. If you are worried about
discussing something because of your partner's reaction, then you probably
aren't giving him enough credit - or you are with the wrong partner. If you're
in a loving relationship then it's very likely he wants you to be satisfied,
as well.
Things you need to do
The most important part to your relationship
is going to be communication. In order to have a good relationship you need
to understand your partner and his needs. Once you know what he wants make
a conscious effort to give it to him. If you're in an open relationship you
should talk about how much information is going to be needed about the other
people in both of your life's in order for each of you to reach a comfortable
level of trust and faith - and security. If you are seeing other people in
a relationship give your partner a sense of where you two are together -
your partner deserves to receive as much, or as little, information as he
likes about these things. Remember, honesty is important! Generally, the
addition of new partners has nothing to do with the base relationship, as
it is something that is considered natural with most men. Monogamy is often
a learned trait, and it just doesn't work to make some couples happy.
Keep the romance alive. This is especially for
you men out there with kids. As relationships move in certain phases and
degrees. Often, after you have been together a while, things become routine
and mundane, and some couples unknowingly fall into a habit - often times
referred to as a 'rut'. Let your lover know you still love them, and
find them exciting and sexy. Do something on a regular basis to keep things
new. You might choose a new sex toy, or you might go romantic and buy him
flowers and send them to where he works. Clean the house for him, or have
a date night where you can go out and keep things fun between the two of
you. There is no sense in letting the romance die just because you have been
together for a long period of time.
Most of all, express your feelings the best
you can at all times. Arguments and tension can be avoided much easier if
you are honest about your feelings, and you let them out as you need to.
If something happens and you hold it in it is going to cause many more problems
in the long run… you most likely won't forget these hurtful things and
they will only continue to hurt you.
You will find that while relationships are hard
to maintain they are also worth it if you are interested in maintaining one.
If you love your partner, these things will help him to see that you do,
and that your relationship is one of importance to you.
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