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Planning the Perfect Gay Wedding
A common problem with planning a gay wedding
is that many people believe that it should some how be different than the
heterosexual affairs we have all come to know and love. This isn't true!
In fact, it's not even close to the truth. As a matter of fact, in Ancient
Greece the tradition of using veils in weddings was originated by
two men. Now, granted, you may not want to wear a veil - but I think you
see the point. Your wedding is going to be what you make of it. With this
in mind, here are some tips to help you create the perfect, problem-free
gay wedding:
If you are planning a big wedding and you haven't
come out to all the family members or friends that you want to be there now
is the time to do that - NOT at the wedding! The most recommended way
of 'coming out' to your family, and/or friends, is to write them a letter
and send it to them. This way they will have time to digest the information,
work through it, and come to an acceptance of it before they speak
with you. Afterwards, you and your partner can arrange a meeting with them
to address any questions they may have. Not all people will accept your decision,
but it is going to be far better for your family and friends to find out
from you - and to decide whether or not to be a part of your big day - as
opposed to the hurt (and shock) they will feel by finding out second hand,
or on your wedding day, itself!
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Many people wonder about the little questions that
pose no concern in a heterosexual engagement and wedding - such as who is
going to propose to who, and what do you call each other after you are married.
The answer to these questions is simple: you should do what you want. Many
couples will decide mutually whether to marry, or not, though it is romantic
to have one of partner propose to the other. After all, a proposal is something
that you will never forget! As for what to call your committed oath to each
other I suggest opting for a 'marriage'. After all, aren't you getting 'married'?
If you go through with the big day, and are wondering what to call your man,
you can call him whatever you both feel comfortable with. If you like the
ring of 'husband', then you can certainly call him that. However, if you
prefer significant other, or something similar, that is fine as well.
A homosexual couple has many wedding plan advantages
above the heterosexual couple. You will be able to plan the wedding together,
and see that the day ends up perfect for both of you. The majority of
heterosexual weddings is planned solely by the woman, and her family, and
is done by the woman's idea of her dream wedding. You have the advantage
of creating your own dream wedding, as well - and if you choose not to live
by the expectations of the heterosexual weddings you don't have to
- you can do something entirely new and different.
Plan reasonably because this is your special
day. If you don't want to go to every gay-friendly business in town, or they
can't give you what you want, then don't feel obliged to use their services.
You can go to whoever is going to offer you the best services. If you are
hiring someone that has obvious issues with your union then you should fire
them and go elsewhere - but don't assume you have to limit yourself to only
GLBT (Gay; Lesbian; Bisexual; Transgendered) run businesses, because that's
a ridiculous notion.
Many of the steps to your perfect wedding are
going to revolve around specific plans. If you want a big reception hall
for a huge party, or, instead, plan to have a posh reception lunch at a classy
bistro, then your plans will obviously be different. You should talk about
your plans with your partner, choosing a compromising plan, which will be
perfect for both of you.
If you're planning on having pictures (and you
definitely should) then you will want to interview the photographers you
are considering. Additionally, ask for references and examples of his or
her work, and ask about their opinion on gay marriages. This is going to
be particularly important because you do not want to choose someone that
suddenly decides he isn't going to take pictures of two men kissing when
the ceremony is full swing. Or, worse yet, doesn't say anything - but sabotages
the photography. Be honest with your potential photographers, and if you
sense there is going to be a problem find someone else that you feel more
comfortable with to handle the situation.
Everything should be worked out ahead of time
and equally. You should decide if you want two best men, or something
entirely different; figure out seating arrangements; entertainment; reception
location; the service; the vows (traditional, or writing your own); and all
of the other issues that come with normal wedding planning. Once all this
hard work has been handled you can relax with confidence that you big day
will be one you will happily remember for years
after>
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