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Polyamorous Living
Polyamorous relationships are not talked about
very often. The vast majority of gay individuals are polyamorous at some
point during their lives. Whether this means they've had group sex, or are
in a committed relationship with more than one person, differs from person
to person. In this article we will be discussing actual relationships with
more than one male involved.
Polyamorous relationships have been around since
ancient times. Just because you love more than one person does not make you
confused, selfish, or different. It is illogical to think that in a lifetime
we will not love more than one person in a romantic way. However, some
relationships occur synonymously while others occur at separate times.
Communication is Necessary
Even if you are not in a polyamorous relationship
communication is necessary. However, it is especially important in
poly relationships because open communication lines help to prevent heartache.
If you feel uncomfortable about how your lover is treating the second, third,
or even the fourth, in your relationship make sure you speak up. You do not
want to hide anything from your lovers. When you hide something you only
seek to alienate yourself, and breed resentments.
I've seen polyamorous relationships fail because
communication lines were closed. Often time one person in the relationship
would feel as if the others were keeping secrets from him. Instead of asking,
though, they stewed over the situation until finally things went spiraling
out of control. Eventually the couple may split up as the lack of communication
leads to hostility, resentment, and a general lack of trust.
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Be
Certain
Do not add a third or fourth to your relationship
if you are not certain your partner is okay with this. If you do not like
to share, or are jealous and feel insecure, speak up! It's not fair to anyone
in the relationship to wait until things progress further. This only adds
to the heartbreak, and feelings are often hurt when one is asked to choose.
It truly is a mess that could have been avoided had a discussion prior to
the relationship occurred stating that a poly relationship was not good for
the initial couple and would not work in the long run.
Do Not Play Favorites
A great way to split up a polyamorous group
is by playing favorites. Everyone in the relationship should be treated fairly.
If the lines of communication are open then every member of the relationship
knows their place and how they are to be treated. It isn't fair to add a
third and have them be the third wheel. No one wants that. Make them feel
secure and know their place with you in the relationship. Only through honesty
and open communication can you prevent future heartbreak.
Polyamorous relationships are NOT for everyone.
Do not assume you can get away with having sex with more than one partner,
and calling it poly, if your partner is not okay with polygamy in general.
A polyamorous relationship in its truest sense is a relationship in which
three or more individuals partake in a mutually beneficial and fulfilling
relationship amongst the group. How you define your polyamorous relationship
is up to you and your partners.
You've heard it a million times and we're going
to say it again. COMMUNICATION! It is key to any successful relationship,
and is an important principle to any happy couple. Remember, a polyamorous
relationship cannot exist without communication. Keep the lines of communication
open between every single party, and always share your feelings, thoughts,
opinions, and beliefs with the others in the group. The goal is to eliminate
any jealousy that can occur as a result of miscommunication and conflict.
Every relationship has bumpy times, but polyamorous relationships are slightly
more susceptible to this. Always bear in mind that feelings can get hurt
easily, and trust can easily be broken. Be certain you want this type of
relationship. Be courteous to everyone involved in the relationship, and
be honest to not only yourself but also your partners. Only then can you
truly have a fulfilling polygamous relationship with the men of your dreams.
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