|
GayfullyYours.com is a proud member of
 |
Spicing up Your Gay Sex Life: 10 Great
Tips
Sex is not the most important aspect of a
relationship. However, it should not be discounted. If you do not have chemistry
in bed then chances are you are better suited as friends, not lovers. You
want your man to have the entire package. That is why it is important to
keep your sex life full of surprises.
One of the fastest ways to lose him (or for
him to lose you) is to fall into the trap many couples do. Eventually, couples
get into a groove they cannot seem to slide out of. Every human thrives through
schedules - even if they are not organized. Even if you and your lover
are messy your disorganization will soon have its own kind of schedule, unless
you do something to keep the fires burning long after you leave the 'newlywed'
aspect of dating behind.
The key to spicing your sex life up is going
to be different for every couple. Only you and he know your likes and dislikes.
Whatever interests both of you in bed is going to be one of the most important
aspects of your sexual relationship. Of course, if that is the only thing
you are doing it won't be long before you both get tired of the 'relationship
hum-drum'.
That is why I offer these ten tips to help you
spice up your sex life. These tips can help you to keep your man happy while
you're enjoying it yourself…. and a great sex life can lead to an even
more fulfilling
relationship.
Never Be Afraid to Be Adventurous
One of the things couples worry about is adventure.
Some men like to be more adventurous than others. The key is to never be
afraid to be adventurous. A sexual adventure every once in a while can really
add the unexpected kick that might be waning from your current relationship.
How adventurous you are depends on you and your
partner. I know some gay couples that find it thrilling to have sex in public
places. This is most often a place where they could possibly get caught (though
they do not). The actual thrill is in the 'possibility' of getting caught.
Of course, too public a place can lead to an arrest if the police are called.
They won't see your exploits as adventurous, so make sure not to go too far.
Some ideas for adventurous relationship experiences
include:
Ø Spending time with your lover in a
body of water (pool, lake, ocean, hot tub)
Ø Switching Roles (Top to Bottom) - though
some may not like this idea so use with caution
Ø Blindfolding your partner and letting
him feel your touch as opposed to seeing it as well
Ø Bondage
Ø Role-playing (Teacher/Student, Cop/Robber,
or another Fantasy)
Always Perform the Unexpected Act
The number one problem with routine sex is that
it is 'routine'. If every time you have sex you bend over the bed, and, in
exactly ten thrusts it is over, then both of you are going to get tired of
the sex. There are a million different positions you can get into. There
are also different acts you can partake in such as fellatio and BDSM that
may excite him if done on occasion.
Some ideas for acts and positions include:
Positions
Ø On your back with him facing you
Ø Doggy Style
Ø 69
Ø Spooning (on your side with him behind
you)
Ø Standing up (from Front or back)
Ø Against the wall (Whoever is giving
should stand facing the wall pining you back against it. The giver should
lift the taker up with his body, so he is held between him and the wall with
his legs around the Giver)
Acts
Ø Fellatio
Ø BDSM
Ø 3-Somes, 4-Somes, Orgies (Though not
recommended if you both prefer
monogamy)
 |
|
Catch your Lover off Guard
Make sure you have unexpected sex. Men love
it when they are going to have sex and they were not even expecting it to
occur. Try not to get into a situation where you have sex every Monday,
Wednesday, Friday, and some Sundays at 9 PM on the dot. It's too expected
that you will be doing this - and knowing what is going to happen ruins the
fun before it even begins.
A great time to surprise him:
Ø On the weekend when you both wake up
Ø After a long hard day of work
Ø In the middle of the night during a
weekend or vacation day
Ø During his lunch hour while he is at
work
Romance Him on Occasion
As much as we may protest it… all men
love romance. They like to feel special. They like to feel pampered.
They like to know that they are loved. If you want to make him gush then
romance him. He will appreciate the gesture more then you could ever imagine.
Chances are he will be so shocked by the offering he'll be willing to do
almost anything to return the favor.
Ideas for romancing your man:
Ø Cook his favorite meal - Set the scene
with candles, classical music, and wear an elegant suit. Have wine, his favorite
meal, and even bring a small gift. If you are a lousy cook you have another
option to consider - eating out...
Ø Book a table for two at your favorite
fancy restaurant - This takes care of any problem a lousy cook may have.
Ø Buy him roses
Ø Serenade him with song - If you have
a nice singing voice or play an instrument
Ø Book tickets to the ballet, opera,
playhouse, or - if you aren't fond of any of the above - try a movie
Expand your Horizons
There are so many things you can add to your
sex life to spice it up. Sex toys aren't just there for you to enjoy solitary
play… they also exist for pleasure between you and your partner. There
are so many different sex toys to choose from: anal vibrators, butt plugs,
anal beads, French tickler penis extensions, tongue rings, etc.
Sex toys have such variety that there should
be at least one (if not more) toy that you and your partner will enjoy adding
- so that both of you can find something you enjoy using. If you are into
harder play (such as S/M) you can find crops, whips, hoods, bondage gear,
handcuffs, bondage furniture, canes, low grade (burning) candles, and more
at the same shops that sell sex toys.
Ideas for Expanding your Horizons:
Ø Watch him masturbate with sex toys
(and vice versa - have him watch you)
Ø Treat him to anal bliss with beads,
plugs, and vibrators
Ø Tie him up and tickle him with the
French tickler penis extension
Ø Add a tongue extension and bathe him
in your love (with your tongue) allowing the sensation of the extension to
add to the excitement
Ø Add a good XXX-rated movie to the fare
Stay away from Monotony
This is perhaps the most obvious part of spicing
things up. I've touched on this in some of the other tips. Monotony is boring.
He will grow bored (even if he will not say it). You will grow bored, too
- and this can turn a strong, healthy relationship into a non-existent one.
Try to remember how much you love one another. Make the commitment and stick
to it. You entered this relationship knowing you'd need to do everything
you could to make it last - and this includes making sure that your partner
is pleased.
Play Kinky Sex Games
Kinky sex games can be a prelude to long, fulfilling
sex sessions. Sex games are some of the best forms of foreplay. Foreplay
is the time before sex when you can really make his fires sizzle. He will
want you even more as he burns with desire. You want him to be in this state
as often as possible simply because his desire for you should be everlasting
- even if you aren't always acting upon it at that moment.
Regardless, sex games can take desire to a whole
new level making it important to the scheme of your relationship. This is
especially true if you enjoy the cat and mouse game you may want to play
with one another.
Ideas for Kinky Sex Games:
Ø Truth or Dare
Ø Strip Poker (or other Card Games)
Ø Strip Monopoly (or other Board Games)
Ø Wrestling (in or out of Jell-o, Mud,
Water, or some other substance)
Ø Sexual Jeopardy (where you test your
sexual knowledge or risk having to perform sexual acts if you miss the answer
- sex questions must be made up in advance)
Male Slumber Parties
Not every couple is into polygamy so this only
applies to couples in more open relationships. If you like having the occasional
3rd (or more) lover added to the fray consider having a male slumber party.
Chances are everyone will want to take a stroll down memory lane as they
recall the time of their youth when slumber parties at their friend's house
may have been first moments of gay exploration for these men.
Some ideas for slumber party activities:
Ø Makeovers - Make him look so hot you
want to tear his clothes off
Ø Sex Games
Ø Fun with Food - in a sexual way
Introduce Him to Date Night
One way to keep the relationship going is to
have a date night. Pick one or two nights a week where you go out on a date.
This is the one night you get to unwind together. You can hit the town, or
even spend a quite night at home having your own private date. Of course,
we all know what happens when a good date ends - a date night kiss, which
can lead to date night sex.
Ideas for dates:
Ø Dinner & a Movie
Ø Hot Air Ballooning
Ø Skydiving
Ø Picnic in the Park/Forest/ Meadow etc.
Ø Theatre/Ballet/Opera
Ø Musical Concerts
Explore New Horizons
Every once in a while it is great to explore
new horizons together. Take a romantic getaway to truly get away from your
daily lives. On your getaway you can focus on each other. Nothing else will
be able to interfere as you relish in each other's company and the love you
feel for one another. You don't have to go far. Maybe you have a log cabin
upstate a few hours. Maybe you want to spend the day at the lake. Perhaps
you want to take a long vacation to a much further destination. Regardless,
the right vacation can reaffirm your relationship and allow you to celebrate
the gloriousness of each other through the trip - which probably is going
to include sex ;).
Romantic Getaways:
Ø Hawaii
Ø The Caribbean
Ø New York City
Ø Paris
Ø Italy
Ø Rio de Janeiro
Ø Chicago
Ø Miami
For more information read our
Man
to Man: The Ultimate Guide to Gay Sex
|
|
